Fighting to make your own choices
by yosafbrig
Summary: Harry Potter hides behind his Gryffindor mask from the manipulations of Dumbledore, freeing Severus Snape from a similar fate. SSHP Manipulativ!Dumbledore Ron&Hermione bashing
1. Potter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter-verse.

Also, i have been reading fanfiction for many years, i apologise in advance if i have stolen your ideas, if you do not like it tell me, i will remove it/ give credit where credit is due. So thankyou all other writers of fanfiction!

CHAPTER 1:

He was taking a risk, he knew this, but he could not stop himself from helping this man, this man who had served others all his life, deserved to have control of his own mind. Since his grandfather was no longer living off his power, Harry had started to see magic, at first he could only sense it, now if he concentrated enough he could see the strands of magic that were woven into spells, and feel the nature of them. When he had first seen his professor he could feel the amount of spells that had been woven into his mind, his nature, he had always been drawn to him, now he knew why. In potions this year he had done his utmost to get a detention, and now here he was, after studying the magic for the last 3 hours he decided he should make his move.

"what are you doing Potter!"

"Just a moment sir"

"where did you learn those wards! Potter!"

" may I speak freely without interruption sir? "

Severus eyed his student through critical eyes, he had learned long ago that he could not think properly about 'Harry Potter' lest his thoughts turned to how arrogant and conceited he was, just like his father, and so he separated his thoughts of Harry Potter from the observations he had made over the years of 'Lily's son' which revealed quite a different character with a strong mask, what that mask hid he had not yet determined, but this might just be his chance to do exactly that.

"You may, as many of those wards you just placed will prevent me from revealing anything that is said without your permission and vice versa I shall try and do the same, regardless of orders from Albus or the Dark Lord"

A slight nod of the head was Harry's answer, as he decided how much he should reveal to his potions master.

"You are aware sir of the connection between the Dark Lord and I? You sir I think are also aware that I am not all I am, I know that you at least know I enjoy making potions in the abandoned lab on the 3rd floor?"

"I know only of my observations, anything else I have not been able to determine, for many reasons"

"Well the connection it seems meant that as a spirit he was using some of my magic to sustain himself, since he has been reborn, and gathering strength. I presume that is the reason I have developed the ability to feel the emotions of others just recently, I can also feel strands of magic, if I concentrate hard enough I can see them."

"How is that relevant and why tell me, not Dumbledore?

"Because, there are a lot of spells placed on you, from what I have determined there are many memory suppresors as well as loyalty enchantments."

"Is it possible to suppress memories? Why not just remove them?"

"Removing memories with a memory charms means the person will be as if the event/memory didn't ever occur, however, if you were to suppress the memory, everything that changed about the person was left in their character, but they would not be able to remember it, does that make sense? That is my theory anyway"

"Yes, I believe that may be correct" Severus said slowly. "However, I didn't know that such a charm existed however"

"Neither did I, that is why it took so long to figure out the magic"

Harry gave Proffesor Snape a chance to recover from these revelations, for Harry knew that despite the cold mask his professor wore, he must be going through quite a bit of turmoil. He could feel confusion, hurt, anger, and slight uncomfortableness in the air around his professor.

"Can you tell who, who did this to me?" a part of severus did not want to know, but he knew that he would like to be prepared if he was to face this person again.

At this question Harry shifted slightly, he had a fair idea who it was, but he could not tell his professor if he was to retain the little trust he had gained, and he could not actually tell from the magic, so he decided to tell his professor that much of the truth and let him draw his own conclusions.

"I did not want to "see" that deep into the strands for fear of disrupting them and causing irreversible damage to your mind"

Severus narrowed his eyes, the slight squirming of Harry had not gone unnoticed by the professor and he was a little leery of what he was leaving out.

"But you have your suspicions as to who?"

Harry inclined his head towards his professor "I will not lie to you, but I will not tell you of my suspicions, I do not trust you that much professor. I may however be able help with you removing the blocks on your memories and investigating further into the design of the loyalty compulsions. "

"How?"

"My Grandfather"  
"You don't have any living grandparents Potter" Snape spat out, glad to have an excuse to move back into a role he was comfortable with with Harry bloody Potter, lilys son, he corrected himself.

"That would be correct" Snapes sneer strengthened at this statement "if my mother wasn't adopted"

"What! I would know if she was adopted!"

"Even if she didn't know herself? Why would a 'muggleborn' ever have the need to brew a lineage potion or anything similar?"

"So why did you Potter?"

"Having studied some magical theory, and gifts such as parsletongue, Dumbledore's explanation on my own parsletongue ability didn't add up" stated Harry, "that and he was hinting at me being the heir of Gryffindor" he sneered.

"And?"

"Her parents were both magical, and I am the descendent from a family who has been known to produce parslemouths, if rarely."

Suddenly Professor Snapes face paled.

"The wards." Snape breathed. (AN: blood wards 'protecting' Harry at 4 pritvate drive)

"Professor?"

"Never mind, your grandfather?" Severus decided to investigate them at his first opportunity.

"Right, well we will have to go to him, how do you normally leave when you are called by the Dark Lord?"

"Send a note with a house elf, floo to the hogs head, then apparate from Hogsmeade why?"

"We need a cover, we have say 5 hours left of detention sir?"

"Right."

"Can you trust me sir?"

"Why not go to Dumbledore?"

"Because it may not be for Dumbledore's greater good for your memories to be released?"

This sentenced mirrored Snape's earlier thoughts on his relationship to the headmaster so perfectly that he grudgingly agreed.

"If I die then I will be sure to haunt you"  
"sir, I value your brilliance as a potions master too much to see you die so young, not to mention seeing Weasley and Granger pulled down a peg or to with that sharp wit" the second bit of the sentence was barely above a whisper, and if it weren't for Severus's potion simmering trained ears he wouldn't have heard at all, that was a sentence to be filled away and analyzed later against his other observations of 'Lily's son'.

And that is how Severus Snape found himself with Harry Potters arms wrapped around him as they were spat out of the floo network.

When they arrived at their destination Harry was greeted with a hug and a smile from his grandfather, they were obviously expected yet Snape couldn't for the life of him figure out how, he sent a questioning look at Potter but all he got was a cheeky grin and a non-answer, "family secret" apparently. Knowing many pureblood family "secrets" he decided not to pry further.

They settled in the drawing room and the procedure was explained to Severus. Grandpapa would enter his mind because he was a mind master and guide him to his blocked memories, this both comforted him and raised a fear in his heart for the secrets in his very protected mind, but looking at Harry and his grandpa talking he saw a glimpse of the carefree trust in his words and actions that so reminded him of Lily and he realized that he had not yet seen this in her son and he found the reassurance he was after. Perhaps if he knew the identity of 'grandpapa' he may not have been so reassured. After this was done, Harry would, as the better at seeing magic and wards would dismantle the loyalty enchantments placed upon him.

It took 4 hours to guide Severus through his memories and release the blocks. At this point Harry had to leave and return to Gryffindor tower, he would return at the earliest opportunity after Severus had awakened.

Severus was in a coma for 2 days and wakes up to find Potter of all people beside his bed

"Potter" This was said with only the mildest of distaste, a fact that surprised both occupents of the room.

"Harry"

"what?"

"Harry, you were my mothers friend, if things were different…. well who knows"

"Harry then, but you are still my student"

"Yes, but we are not in school Severus"

"Cheeky brat" Severus found he did not want to argue the point when a nice thrill went up his spine at hearing his name come out of Harry's mouth, lily's son Severus, her son!.

Harry then proceeded to undo the loyalty spells that were already crumbling at the release of memories. Loyalties spells only truly work when the subject already has a sense of loyalty towards the one they were spelled towards. Originally these were a means of ensuring information could not be revealed accidently or magically, the ones on Severus however were warped so that the person had lost their individuality. With the memories that were revealed the spells would no doubt crumble, but it would be a lot easier for Severus to decifer between his feelings and the spells, as well as assimilate the lost memories into those already there.

This time Severus was in a coma for a week.


	2. Little Harry

AN: How'd I go?

CHAPTER 2

Harry was 4 years old, and he sat silently crying in his cupboard, trying not to make a noise lest his uncle come back and decide that he had not finished with "the freak". Harry did not know what happened, all he knew was that his cousin was beating him, and he had wanted him to stop so bad, he was so desperate, and then his cousin was unable to touch him, in came his uncle roaring about how he was a freak, and that he would beat the unnaturalness out of him. He tried, he really did try to get his relatives to love him, he did everything they said for him to do, but it wasn't enough, it was never enough. And now he sat, crying and hurting from the beating his uncle had given him.

Thousands of miles away floated a barely alive spirit, trying to make sense of the sensations and feelings that he had not felt since the days at the orphanage, but these included a big beefy man, a boy and a horse-faced lady, none of these people he had ever seen in his life. He did not know how it was he was still alive, but he believed they were linked. He searched onwards for an animal or wizard to inhabit, until he could find a way to regain a body of his own.

It was a few weeks later as he was allowing the sensations of inhabiting a body, if temporary, to infiltrate his system that feelings he recognized not of his own floated to him from an unknown source, closing his eyes he sought the magic that connected him to these feelings, at the other end he found a boy, no more than four, talking to a snake, speaking in parsletongue, he's tone was urgent but he could not make out the words, and here was that beefy man again, the stress and panic increased, and suddenly there was pain.

"help me, someone? Oh why wont someone take me from here, help me, the words grew fainter as the pain increased until he could hear no more, he surmised that the boy had blacked out, but why would he be connected to this boy, who was he. Over the next few days he kept the connection open as much as possible to learn as much about this boy as he could. This boy did not know his name, indeed he believed it to be 'boy' or 'freak'. He received no love from his relatives, in the month Voldemort was "listening" to these emotions he received 2 more beatings while the boy ate less than himself. He was constantly lonely, unable to do much for him he decided he may be able to educate him about wizarding culture so he would not be so clueless when he received his letter at age 11 while at the same time giving him a friend who will be able to protect himself. His familiar had a hatchling who would be just reaching the age when it would leave her nest, she would be ideal, especially if she was anything as stubborn and compassionate as her mother.

1 month later.

Little Harry was once again weeding the garden when he met Emerie. She was the most beautiful snake he had ever seen, she seemed different to all the other snakes he had met, he must warn her about the Dursley's luckily they had gone out for the day leaving Harry to do all the chores.

"Pst, miss Snake?"

"Ah, you must be the one."

"The one? What? it doesn't matter, you have to get out of here, if the Dursleys see you."

"Do not worry young speaker, I can protect myself, but what of you?"

"Me?"

"You indeed. I was sent by my mothers master to look after you, and to teach you"

Harry's curiosity had been peaked. "Does he speak also?"

"Intellegent boy, yes he is another snake speaker like yourself, as far as he is aware, you and him are the only currently alive, its quite a rare talent, best be kept hidden he says, too many believe it to be the mark of an evil wizard."

"Wizard? but uncle Vernon says magic isn't real!"

"Of course it is! How do you think you heal so quickly? How do you think it is your hair doesn't ever grow out? What would your Uncle know anyway?"

And so Harry Potter learnt of the wizarding world early.

A year passed quickly for Harry and he had learnt much of the wizarding world from Emerie, as he began to use his magic intentionally it grew, the more it grew the more he was able to communicate with the Dark Lord, his Tom. At first it was just feelings, and soon some words, occasionally magic would pass through the link too, if Harry needed it to recover from a beating, or Tom needed it to keep himself alive long enough to find another body. Many times one would go weak to help the other. This was a first for both Tom and Harry, that someone would help them without asking for anything in return.

Harry was now 5, and it would be his first day of school, eh was excited, he already knew how to read, how else could he help Petunia with the shopping? And he was excited to be able to prove his worth, and to make friends!

Things did not go as planned, immediately Dudley set to bullying Harry, following his fathers example, no child wanted to go near him, they had all heard stories of the "freak" from kindergarten.

As Harry sat nervously in his seat during roll call he was stunned as the name "Harry Potter" was called out, everyone looked to him, that must be his name, his slow response earned a frown from his teacher, already she had decided he was either a bit slow, or simply doing it on purpose, a trouble maker no doubt judging by his appearance, messy hair too big clothes. But this didn't bother Harry so much as the burst of emotion from Tom followed by an immediate block from the connection, Harry tried not to panic, why shouldn't he panic, Tom had always been there! Always, he was jut as excited about school as Harry was, and he was so proud of him too, why would he cut him off like that?


	3. Emotions

Before I begin; I'm going to try and keep the events as they were up til the end of the 5th book, I will note it. Obviously it is cannon tho, so think of it as a what you didn't know about harry, but a what Dumbledore thought of harry.

Chapter 3

This chapter goes back to the present.

When Harry returned to his Grandpapa's manor it was to find Professor Snape pacing angrily in front of the fireplace.

"you!" Severus snarled as he whipped around to see Harry bloody Potter in the doorway.

He had woken up that morning and to his horror realized exactly who Potter had taken him to (AN to or too?). He was confused enough to not know whether to be grateful or angry. One minute memories of the last year of been a 'death eater' had him cursing Potter in anger in fear, and himself at his folly. Then memories of his not quite brother, not quite father he found in Tom Riddle, and the same affection, acceptance, love? He found reciprocated. He felt a massive rush of gratitude to Potter at this, then he remembered the way he treated and had been treated by Voldemort, the same man and his world collapsed into anger, fear and an overwhelming sense of guilt. As this confusion reached its peak, unsure he was as to which emotions were real Potter entered. Potter who had lied, tricked him, and bought him here.

And helped him.

That wasn't point! How many times had Dumbledore "helped" when it wasn't needed, or this interfering only helped Dumbledore and his goals. And how many times had Dumbledore stood back and let him suffer, making him think he deserved it.

Harry stood in the doorway bewildered. When he'd left he and Snape had been on more neutral terms, with an almost promise of something more, and now Snape was angry, really angry at Harry. Looking closer Harry saw his Professors countenance. His hair was a mess, whatever it was before it had never been messy, he had massive bags under his eyes and he was paler than usual.

Most unsettling and worrying for Harry though was how unsure and confused this man was behind the anger. Always, always Severus had been strong and sure of himself, his morals, his opinions and skills. And now it seemed as if he was been tossed about by an angry sea and unsure how to react, only knowing he must.

Harry carefully passed the threshold of the door, silently slipping a blank leather bound book from his pocket. He placed it on the table, scribbled a note then turned around to leave,

"I'll be waiting, and ready to talk when you are. Two claps, and a house elf called Dotty will appear, tell him you wish to speak to little master." Harry then left just as silently as he came, behind him Snape was even more confused with more questions than he had before.

Sighing he sat down to read the note that was left with the book.

This is a journal for you to keep, I imagine you are very confused. Not only are you able to write in it, but you are able to place a copy of your memories in it, hopefully you will be able to sort out what is real, and what is not a little easier. It will only open to you once you set it. Instructions are inside.

Harry.

P.S. when you are ready Tom will talk to you, until then you may stay or leave, Dotty will ensure you have everything you need.

He had been here a week and he was still utterly confused, one minute raging against the Headmaster, the next whimpering softly trying to find a way back to him. One minute he could talk and argue pleasantly with Tom the next he was trying not to stutter in fear. But as the days passed his confusion ebbed, and with the help of the diary he was able to sort through the mess that was his mind to re-astablish who he was. This was his major stumbling block, he had memories, of conversations and events but he could not find himself and was unsure if he was ever going to be able to. Tom just as much grieved this loss as he did, and so it was Harry who gave him the best perspective.

"What does it matter who you were, the last 15 years without your memories would have changed you regardless. You are still a potion master, dark wizard and still have a wicked sense of humour and sharp wit and you are slowly rebuilding your relationship with grandpapa. It is not who you were that should concern you but who you are and what you are going to do now."

Severus decided he would stay on as a spy for Tom, he would act as if he did not possess the memories, he was not doing this, he told himself firmly so that he was closer to and in a better position able to protect Harry, Potter, his name is Potter! A little voice in the back of his head wondered at the futility of lying to himself.

Despite all this he still felt off centre, he would still randomly remember things and could not properly place them back in order, while he now had access to his memories once again he could not control how or when he remembered.

He was currently sitting in his room beside the same fireplace he had been pacing in front of all week, nursing a brandy, thinking about what had brought him to this point. He couldn't decide whether to be angry with Potter or grateful for bringing him to Tom, he had no idea what the memories would reveal when the spells would be undone, nor what loyalties he'd truly have, unless it was done with the misguided notion he would be forever loyal to Potter because of this, he would not let himself be used like Dumbledore, and to a small extent Tom again, ever. He still had not learnt anything about the brats relationship with Tom, apart from the fact he called Tom Grandpapa. He had not been able to ask Tom, not yet comfortable enough to ask him such questions and he had not spent more than 10 minutes in Potters company since the spells were taken off. He found he was looking at a totally different boy, maybe he was just seeing through different eyes, he no longer had to think of the boy as 'lily's son' to keep his thoughts centered, and the word Potter did not automatically bring thoughts of arrogance and selfish spoiled brats. Perhaps there had been some compulsion charm woven within his mind. Maybe this was the Potter that hid behind the masks he had detected, it could be both. His musings were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Enter" He called out, surprised to see Harry standing in the door way, wariness obvious in reluctance to enter.

Severus waived his hand at the armchair opposite him, indicating him to sit

"I have a few hours before I have to return to Hogwarts." Harry said once he had sat himself down.

"Do you not wish to see Tom? You seem close" Severus enquired.

Harry shrugged, "I have seen him more this last week than I expected to, and whenever I need to I am able to talk to him, you however I'm not sure we will be able to speak this freely again once you return to Hogwarts tomorrow?" Was this was an open invitation to ask questions?

"I confess myself confused as to how the golden Gryffindor firmly under Dumbledore's thumb became so close to Tom Riddle, the lights sworn enemy." Severus stated, "And what does a family secret have 

to do with the mental connection you and the dark lord share, for I assume that is how you contacted him before we came?"

Harry smiled amused. "Well, I knew you were intelligent, it shouldn't surprise me that you worked it out."

A nod of the head was his response as he waited patiently for the rest of Harry's response, looking him in the eye watching him squirm.

"I will answer your questions honestly, or tell you that I can not/will not, in return you will do the same." Harry said solemnly, conveying how serious he was about the point.

"No!" Was Severus's automatic response, he would not have his secrets revealed in such a manner, especially considering his resolve earlier about his loyalty to potter.

Harry frowned gently, "You expect me to reveal secrets no one else have known except those outside the immediate events, yet you will not let me ask you questions, you will not have to answer I promise that, I only ask you not lie, you have not lied to me yet" Harry replied trying to force his indignation down.

It was Snapes turn to squirm now. Putting it like that the boy had a point, and he owed him his thanks in the least, that did not mean loyalty by any means.

"Alright" Severus acquiesced, "you answer my question first, then you may ask yours" His tone tight, and cautious, trying to re-establish control.

"When Dumbledore left me at the Dursleys" the word dursleys spat venomously and Harry paused to continue "He assured I would have no contact with other wizards, but that did not stop Emerie" At this Harry waved his hand and revealed a Snake, 4 feet in length wrapped around his shoulders. "She grew up with the way of wizards, and taught me, so before I had come to Hogwarts I knew much about the wizarding world. Does that answer your question, would it help you to know I should have been a Slytherin? And would have too had it not meant Dumbledore would keep a closer eye on me"

Severus Snape had not lost the slightly surprised look that had appeared on his face when Harry had revealed Emerie, the fact that he should have been a Slytherin made Severus snort, it did answer many questions he had had, this boy was no brash Gryffindor.

"That does not surprise me with Tom as your Grandfather, adopted or not." Severus said once he regained his wits.

"Tsk. Tsk Professor, who said he adopted me?" Harry asked, suddenly eager "Now, my question, what was my mother like? I mean all I've been told was that she was good at charms, beautiful, a Gryffindor and started going out with my James Potter in her 7th year and hated him up until that point, and what I've read in her diaries, which reminds me, I have them here for you, it might help."

"Well two weeks ago I would've said that I was in love with her and bitter about her death, and hated you for being the child of a love I detested. But this was twisted by Dumbledore, solving 'problems' in my character and creating solutions I suppose. I loved her as I would a sister, we could not have been closer if we were blood related, she lived in my neighborhood, and we grew up together, I showed her she was a witch. If you have read her diaries no doubt you knew that her marriage was arranged, forced, I hated James Potter for coveting her, desiring her, and using Dumbledore to get her. I hated that a child would have to grow up in that household, but I could not hate you because you were the one thing that gave her joy, she lived for you."

"And died for me" Harry whispered sadly. A few tears making their way down his cheeks.

"She could not have lived in a world that you were not in" Severus replied gently.

Harry looked up at Severus.

"She loved you too, and did not blame you for her marriage, as much as I wish for my mum not to have died, that would mean James Potter would have lived, and I do not wish for her to live through that, or see her slowly broken by that man."

"The abuse was worse than she told me wasn't it" Severus asked voice thick with self recrimination and guilt.

"She did not blame you, nor hate you for not marrying her, she loved you more for been ready to forsake your own happiness for her misery, she knew you felt guilty and did not want to make you feel worse. It was her decision" Harry glared hard at Snape to drive his point home, no doubt he'd spent the last 2 weeks wracked with guilt over this issue.

Severus abruptly stood and started pacing.

"But I could not save her from the marriage, and I could not even ease her pain, what kind of brother was I!"

Harry was sick of seeing Severus pacing looking so lost and confused and was almost overwhelmed with the self loathing he could feel coming from Severus. So he stood. Intercepting Severus, his glare matching Snape's.

"Do not blame yourself! If you are to blame anyone blame Dumbledore! He started this war against Dark magic, wizards and Dark creatures! He went after Dark Wizards and Grandpapa fought back! He took Grandpapa's child before he could hold her and killed his wife! He made Grandpapa the twisted bitter wizard he was before his downfall! So afraid of death he was unable to yield to it because death would mean the end of Dark magic and enslavement of dark creatures! Yet unable to move past his grief, pain and guilt!"

Harry paused, but before Severus could interrupt him before he got his point across he started again.

"Dumbledore is the one who feels he must control all those around him, he was the one that forced mum's marriage knowing the abuse mum would suffer, but ignored it in favor of the fucking greater good! He left me with the Dursleys for so called fucking blood wards that do not exsist, can't exsist, thought I'd think of him as some kind of savior for 'letting' me return" Sarcasm screaming at Severus.

"What do you know of abuse or pain you self absorbed brat! You know nothing!"

"Nothing! How do you know? Because Dumbledore told you! Because you checked up on me!" Harry replied bitter and sarcastic.

Severus Snape face still held its sneer, disdain evident in his eyes, his emotions easy to read, he still thought of Harry as a spoilt brat.

Harry lost his tight control on his temper, anger flaring he decided to practice his legilimins skills, throwing images at Snape that he had kept carefully hidden during last year's occlumency lessons, images of the verbal abuse that sometimes felt worse than the physical abuse, the memories of feeling so small, so lonely and so very unworthy of others attention, love. Memories of the hunger, of the near constant pain, memories of his cupboard, and his only friends the spiders.

Before Snape could decipher any of the memories Harry had fled before the feelings building up from releasing them could cause him to break down in front the man.

Harry berated himself as he fled through the manor, he had meant to leave on better terms with Snape, not worse, and certaintly hadn't meant to reveal so much about his past with the Dursleys, the man would hate him now, hate him for not been able to defend himself against muggles, but he could not help himself, could not control his emotions and actions around this man, yet he was continuously drawn to him.

He finally reached his own rooms in the manor, shacking, able to reach it before his silent tears and sobs fell, he felt a probing from the link with his grandfather but brushed him off, he did not deserve comfort, he had lost control and the feelings of dirtiness and unworthiness that was the result of the memories he had given to Snape overwhelmed him.

Worried, Tom Riddle immediately left for his Grandson's rooms, when he found Harry he merely scooped him up in his arms and held him gently as he at first struggled then finally broke down, sobbing, while he felt pain that Harry continued to suffer, and knew not the cause of this, only it had something to do with Severus, he felt joy that for once he could do this, for years he had to stand by and watch, feel and unable to do anything, now he could, and he would not shy because of his bitter regret.

The end of chapter 3

Wow, really long chapter and could probably have gone on longer if I didn't care about boring you all.

Munchnzoey: I hope it becomes a good story from start to end, barring grammar, I have little faith in my grammar skills.

Jumping-jo: mmhm. These ideas have been floating round for a while, I have a couple of others but I might not post'em, til I get these threes closer to their end

DebsThe SlytherinSnapeFan: Of course, no story that feels real will be left without a little rough patchs and drama.

Projectjay: so am I

HOlenSnape: It makes me smile when people enjoy my stories.

Animegurl:  Thanks!

Blue-EyedSnape: I shall try, I'm hoping for an update at least every fortnight, do not rely on this however!

Hpfananita: Thankyou, I hope it keeps your interest til the end and you are satisfied, I love stories that leave you satisfied, they need not be happy or sad, but they for some reason or other satisfy you.

Snape harry learn of each other behind mask

Learns of old coots manipulations

Gets true memories of dark lord

Harry older, spent 3 years in time spelled room apprenticed to his grandfather

Where to go?

Relationship between snape/harry slash?

connectioned: mentor bond, between head of family and heir, till bond fulfilled; heir ready to take place as lord.

Mother not heir, just daughter. Although Dumbledore searched he could not find Voldemorts child, suspected Severus. Dumbledore looked for heir.

Did he realize harry was? Did he fake prophecy?


	4. Aiden

Alrighty guys some info for you for waiting so patiently:

This is set at the start of 5th year, I know not much Hogwarts action but it will come.

The format will be Present-Past-Present-Past, hopefully they will match up, it might take me a while til I post the next chapter cuz I want to make sure the chapters reach the right points at the end and match up, to do this I need to plan, carefully. I went and rushed a chapter on another story and puff, stuck cuz it wasn't quite the direction I see for it. I will make do, if I can't I will rewrite.

Any comments feel free to review.

This chapter finds us in the past after Tom broke the connection. Harry's first day at school

Chapter 4

Lunch found Harry searching for a quiet place to hide, when he found a place, up in a tall tree hidden by others he let himself cry, he felt so alone. All his life Tom had been there, even if they hadn't known and now his presence was gone, he was angry at him and he didn't know why. Was it because he didn't make friends? Was it because the teacher thought he was a stupid troublemaker even though Tom said he wasn't? Maybe he had finally realized what a worthless freak he was, like his Uncle was constantly telling him. Emerie wasn't here either, one day in a week she would disappear to hunt, she was supposed to return yesterday but didn't, maybe she had realised too.

That evening when he lay awake from the pain of the latest beating, for not paying attention, his thoughts and emotions to jumbled to focus properly, his determination hardened. He would work hard pay attention and make Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia proud, prove to them he wasn't dumb or worthless, prove to Tom that he wasn't either.

Long weeks past for Harry. Instead of making new friends, learning new things and having fun like all children starting primary school Harry's had been filled with pain and loneliness. He felt lost, confused and hurt. Tom had left him, he had worked hard during the day and called and searched for Tom for hours during the night, but he felt nothing, found nothing. The last thing he remembered was the burst of feelings that were similar to the ones Tom had felt for Vernon, never had those feelings been directed at him, what did he do? He tried to remember the feelings that Tom had sent but they were mere memories, daydreams now. He tried to recall the feelings as he soaked up the strange customs and traditions of the wizarding world, the happiness and sense of belonging he felt when Tom wished him a happy birthday and guided him as he made his first wandless magic, and how proud Tom was when he finally managed it on his own 2 weeks later. Emerie still had not returned.

His plans for Vernon had not gone well. He had not been happy with him when he had broken the plate while he was distracted while he washed the dishes, he had not been happy when he received better marks on his first report than "duddykins" and he most definitely had not been happy when the vase he had knocked over had stopped, an inch from the ground. But the beatings he had received were not what hurt the most, he could deal with the broken arm, bruised ribs, and dislocated thumb, what hurt was Toms silence, Tom was not there.

Four weeks past and Harry finally realized why Tom hated him. His last name was Potter. He was related to James Potter, one of his enemies. "Tom had left him", this was his thought as Vernon aimed his fist at his head, like he had always in the deepest part of his heart and mind thought he would, and as he felt oblivion descend on him, his last thought was that he did not want to wake.

Tom spent 4 weeks floating around aimlessly in the rainforest he was currently inhabiting, trying to block the feelings he could feel, not his own. Harry Potter, Son of James and Lily Potter, he had been teaching Harry Potter, had thought of Harry Potter as the son he did not have, the grandson he would never have. His enemy. The only one that could destroy him. But that was not the point was it. Harry Potter was abused when he was supposed to be protected, Harry Potter, the lights child represented all he fought for. The preservation of important wizarding traditions, magical children growing up in magical households, and the protection of all children from abuse, not to mention the right of all wizards to practice their magic, light and dark, and Harry Potter had the makings of a fine dark wizard. So what should he do? He could not think the name potter without a well of hate rising inside of him, his baby Aiden had a face, and that face repulsed him, his decision was made for him however by the burst of desperate pain from the connection followed by nothing, absolutely nothing, and it scared him.

Tom panicked. Tom Riddle AKA darkest lord for over a century panicked. He felt he could forgive all those parents who had panicked as he reached their homes during the war. He could not feel anything from little Aiden as he had called him. He used all the his reserves to reach his Aiden, it wasn't working, Aiden was rejecting him, Aiden was hurt, dying, all that mattered was that he survived, he sent all that he had felt in the last few months towards Aiden, he sent the fierce protectiveness, he sent his pride for Aiden, he sent feelings of a long forgotten emotion, and emotion he did not think he would feel again after his wife and a child he did not even hold were killed, love. It was like pushing against a brick wall, there was still a connection so he must be alive, but Aiden was not responding at all. He sent the last of his magic towards Aiden and as his world blackened he felt the tiniest pulse, the tiniest hope, and with one last push blacked out.

Neither Harry nor Tom woke for a week, recovering together in a sea of darkness, Tom held Aiden close. It would be a long time before Tom would hold Aiden so he made the most of it, rocking him as he sobbed, clutching at his robes.

"Why?" Aiden finally choked out.

"I'm sorry little one" Tom replied softly wondering how he would explain this to a five year old.

Aiden hiccupped, still not satisfied. "But why" He asked again searching Tom's eyes.

He ceased to be Harry Potter the moment the connection cut, Tom realized, no matter what others called him, he would always be Aiden first, his Aiden, he would guide him as he watched him grow, as he couldn't with his child who had died all those years ago.

"I have told you about the war between magic folk?"

"James Potter was your enemy, and I'm a Potter"

"No little one, you are Aiden, but when I heard your name I had not realized."

Tears streamed down Aidens cheeks.

"But I was always Aiden! Since you named me! I called to you and you didn't answer! You weren't there! And Emeries disappeared.." Aidens breaths were short and he was sobbing uncontrollably again, Toms grip around him just tightened as he soothed him.

"Shush Aiden, now look at me." Tom paused as he saw the raw pain in his child's eyes, pain he had caused. "I know now you were always Aiden, but I didn't then, when I heard your name all I could think was that you were the son of my enemy, a light child. But then I remembered my little Aiden, and when you cut the connection I was desperate, I didn't know how much it meant to me for you to be safe, and happy, I, I'm sorry."

The panic and desperation Tom had felt when the utter nothingness of the cut connection hit must have been nothing compared to what Aiden had felt, so he promised to himself and Aiden that he would never do so again. Aiden promised the same in return.

Chapter End.

Aiden: Irish for little fire.

I like the thought of an Irish Slytherin/Tom Riddle.

Aiden is Harry from now on in the presence of people who know him as Aiden, so far that's Emerie and Tom.

I seem to work well sleep deprived as this is another sleep deprived chapter

Okay, reviews, it's a bit cheeky putting them at the end of the chapter instead of the start but I figured if you like it enough to review, you will be reading the chapter anyway so without further ado:

Vampiregoth28: THANKYOU!! The reason the AN is there is for an answer to my question, don't feel weird, anyone else with grammar issues feel free to tell me. You'll be doing me a favor as I want to teach English at highschool's when I grow up…

DebsTheSlytherinSnapeFan: Mmm think of the power I will hold with the debts lasting forever….But the story will flow as it flows, I have no more control than you really.

Tonksiscool: Check out my reviews, I was excited and left one in reply to yours.

Adeniode: I like it when Hary has a family that is real, not the convenience of the weasleys, we never hear of Hermiones family….

StarshineLove: shudders cute. Despite my many potests I am a sweety at heart, so it needed some cute little-harry-ness. This chapter is full of it, and next will have some more answers for Snape.

DaliaDee: I think I replied to you, so yeah, I totally agree with the straight away loves thing. All relationships take work, no one goes from strangers to loving them for eternity, it doesn't feel real, and to be truly satisfied the story needs to feel real. Also with the age gap, Harry is quite mature for his age, still prone to teenage moments but he would never be satisfied with a teenager. Also Severus hasn't had a chance to age since lily's death really, and he is just discovering who he is, like we do when we become a teenager, so they are at the same stage emotionally I guess.

P.S. Not quite satisfied with "Aiden" for Harry, any ideas? I'm looking for something that Tom would call his son, something he found precious, something strong, something he cares for…and slightly Slytherin I guess.


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